It seems I have been a bit latent with my blog postings, I’ve started a few on different things, but I don’t seem to have the energy to finish them, but don’t worry, I will sometime.

Years ago I remember a few people telling me the same thing over and over again:

“The school years are the best years of your life”

This was usually said by people that at the time I thought were just saying it to reinforce their own belief that they’re school years were the best of their life, but in recent weeks I have realised that the statement is in fact true, like so many things that I was told back then I discarded it and confined it to the area of my mind named ‘Useless crap told to me by other people’.

Back in year 7 (or 1st Year depending on which era you where born in) there were no worries, the next 4 years of your life was mapped out by the government and there was nothing that you could do about it, these are what I call the ‘golden years’.

Year 11 was a strange year, half of the year is potentially grouped in the ‘golden years’ category, while the other half is grouped in to the ‘run about the room screaming like a headless chicken with a bunch of application forms in your hand’ category. Once you had more or less decided what you wanted to do, in my case 6th Form….(and boy was that a mistake) you once again settled down into the already familiar routine of going with the flow however, the emphasis on grades seemed to me at least more than the golden GSCE days, but this could just be me, in fact it is probably just me….

Then the final few months of upper sixth came over the horizon, almost like a Napoleonic force charging over the hilltop in the distance on a direct course for a battle of gigantic proportions, and things needed to be decided upon, countless of hours of thoughts passed and finally a decision had been reached.

It seems to me that anything Post the middle of Year 11 just isn’t as good as the ‘golden years’ my theory is because there is so much things that need to be thought about, this is where the worry less life transitions over into the stressful and down right complicated world.

Then there are ‘the good old days’ these are snippets of years 10 and 11 that are memorable only for their complete and utter stupidity and at the times hilarity, a few stick in my mind, and will probably stick in my mind for a long time to come.

Having said all this, sixth form was probably the best 2 years out of it all, obviously some of it wasn’t, the first thing that springs to mind is “AQA killed my inner child” that Craig so famously said, but apart from all that, the people that I met, the things that I was involved in and the friendships that I built up was well worth the murder of my inner child, or if I wasn’t being so harsh, the mild scarring.

Carrying on along these lines of thought if the last 2 years at Westlands was the best, then I would be right in thinking that uni will be even better right??

So a little over a week after the official leaving date, I find myself back in the old routine, although this time it was in a more official role, doing some work for Torbay Council no less, it’s a Data entry job for Key Stage 3 results….I have to say, I have typed enough 1′s and 0′s to make my own operating system….you think I’m joking, I think I shall call it something like Doors, or Windows perhaps, I mean surely no one has called an OS that before. This job includes using Floppy disks….for some reason I found myself trying to plug my USB cable into it, I just couldn’t find the damn USB connector it was frustrating I mean everything has USB doesn’t it???? Perhaps it got lost or someone forgot to glue it on or something.

I’m also starting to question Binary fundamentally, I mean, all those 1′s and 0′s…surly someone can throw in a 2 or 3 sometimes, a bit of variety is good after all.

I know Shane was expecting this massive farewell speech worthy of some award but I’m sorry to say that there won’t be one, I know it’s hard to get used to, but you could always turn to crack-cocaine, I’ve heard you can get it from those roving pharmacists called ‘dealers’, not sure if it will work though, rumour has it it’s only for coffee addictions.

I will say however that I have learned some valuable lessons from the whole chapter (I’m really starting to get into this book analogy), I’m still confused in the most spectacular of ways, but I guess that’s something I’ve learned, not everything has answers, and if there are answers, they will make no sense whatsoever They say that you are moulded by your experiences, it’s true, and I have, the chapter seemed to somehow rewrite previous chapters in unimaginable ways and will sculpt subsequent chapters in countless ways. This is where things like destiny fall apart, because at the end of the day what you do comes down to how you’ve been burned before, that’s one of the amazing things about human nature, if you get hurt by something you avoid doing it again, or at least modify how you do it to minimize the risk and pain.

“When you’re up to your ass in alligators sometimes it’s hard to remember that you’re mission is to drain the swamp”

Soooo, with the ERP (Emergency Recovery Plan) now in ‘holding’ mode a few things have happened.

Firstly today…was the last day I will EVER have to do any A level work….To be honest it hasn’t really sunk in, for the past 2 years I have slaved away becoming nothing more than a machine to turn hours into A grade assignments, for 2 long and at times plainly exasperating years, I have felt nothing but enthusiasm for this day to come, the day when I can stand and say “It’s All Over”, however, it is different now, the bridges I have built over these past years have been a great offset for the plain stupidity in other areas, and in recent months, there has been even more reason to regret the approach of this day. I can honestly say that I won’t miss the course, but I can say that I will miss the people, because I am practically a member of staff, I will miss all of the challenges that have been thrown at me, I will miss all of the productions, troubleshooting and just generally the things that I seem to get pulled into on a daily basis.

It amazes me how sometimes you can think about something, and think you are prepared for it, but when it actually happens you find yourself knocked off you’re feet unable to remember or say the things that you told yourself that you would do, but I guess this is something that I should be used to know, when I get these perfect chances, my mind seems to freeze and my ability to speak and actually make any sense just seems to dissipate into yet another toxic gas corroding the O-Zone layer.

“I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.”

I can relate to that lyric more and more each day, although as usual my perception of things seems to differ greatly from the actual meaning…I still have this over active mind. If you haven’t heard the song before, its You’re beautiful by James Blunt, I urge you to have a listen to it, listening to it all you will be able to realise why I can relate to it so much. I mean, even the title is descriptive.

So now it seems I am going have to withdraw the application to the group codenamed LRPOC, something that I can say that I am not that unhappy about especially in light of some recent events, although there was a time when I thought I would have to join the ranks through no fault of my own I might add.

Friday will be the day to end all days, farewells will be said, some harder than others, I guess this time I am going to have to say the things I meant to say.

With what can only be described as one of the most stressful few weeks now behind me, sleep and fun have been at a premium recently as I’ve battled against time to collate the fragments of work to form something that resembles an A grade project. There is still more work to do however, 2 more units to hand in, and 1 more exam to take, after that it will all be over.

Recent blog entries from my friends seem to be following a similar trend, with the imminent departure of all of us from the now very familiar surroundings now is the time that thoughts start to become more intense, this post was originally going to be one of those posts, along very cryptic texts and lots of unanswered questions, however, there is nothing more that I can say that Lloyd and Shane haven’t mentioned, undoubtedly it will be different, apart from the things mentioned in their blogs the sheer amount of fan clubs that I have collected in recent years is probably enough to start an invasion force for a small country, and is something I will greatly miss, I mean, what can be more enlightening than being the centre of attention, and believe me, I really don’t know why I have such a following. However there comes a time when all good things must come to an end, it’s part of the process of life and is something that can never be changed…(unless the monkeys really do take over the world…in which case we won’t care because we will all be enslaved for eternity). The way I see it is this: it is inevitable that this was going to happen, as sad as it may be all is not lost, personally I have visions of Skype being a very useful tool, both for on campus communications and to keep in touch with everyone we leave behind. A whole new world of opportunities is going to be opened, and who knows there may come a time when we all meet up again, that is what friends reunited is all about right? (I must be in one of my more optimistic moods at this moment in time…This will soon change I’m sure)

It’s strange, whenever you start to think about something, there is always something else to turn it upside down and disprove the near perfect theory that was once perceived to be true. Something I learnt recently was no matter how strongly you feel about someone, there is always someone else who feels the same about you, it may not be the same person that you have feelings for, but there is someone. And as much as I thought I knew the things that were going on, it turns out that I missed it completely, yet another example of looking too close for the answer I guess.

“Dreams and reality aren’t all that different, in the same way you can shape your dreams with thoughts, you can shape your destiny with actions”

As with the quote at the end of my last post, this one just came to me, I don’t know why…

On to other things, after the next 2 weeks has passed, I will be embarking on a few projects that have been put on a back burner until all of the coursework and exams were out of the way, the first of which is a redesign of the Crossways and Sea View site here I hope to add a lot of functionality to it. The second is my Portfolio Site Since it’s original implementation it’s become clear that a nice streamlined dynamic site would add some much needed content to it. I also have plans to make parts of the site syndicated, so all of you that use aggregators to view my blog can also view the latest things that get added to my site.

The third site that I will be working on is something that I can’t divulge at the moment, however, I can say the following things about it; its going to have a lot of RSS feeds.

So for now I will leave you to linger over the above, I’m sure as the next few days go by, I will find yet more things to blog about, probably all of which will be wrapped in some kind of mystery or cryptic meaning….

There’s something about waking up in the morning to glorious sunshine, knowing that summer is here, and that there will be no more dull, depressing days. Or at least there was something until you realise that it’s going to be another one of those days, more stress…and above all more freaking work.

So the first 2 exams have been completed…I have a few comments however…Simultaneous engineering…yeah, like i am going to know what that is all about, this is a Business exam, not an engineering exam…oh and the economies and diseconomies of scale part…what the hell? i vaguely remember something about that in one of the many lessons that I tuned in and out of, but unfortunately not enough to be able to make any sense out of the question, apart from these few problems it went fine…

While walking along Meedfoot beach a few nights ago with a mate, we started talking (for the first time in ages) about some quite serious things, some of them can’t really be mentioned, although i can divulge some of the topics of conversation:

Fate

This is certainly one of the biggest unanswerable questions, do things happen for a reason, or are they just random events that occur for absolutely no reason what so ever?

Here’s a thought provoking question for you all, does this ‘god’ figure have some kind of map for each one of us that he can add / remove stuff from at will whenever he decides one of his ‘people’ need to have an RTA or something?

Yeah right, dream on, our lives are no more planned out than a Torbay Council finance committee meeting, things happen because they happen, nothing from ‘above’ influences them because there…er…isn’t actually anything ‘above’ except from a load of fresh air, oh and those UFO type things, but i can’t talk about that (…a matter of national security you see)

Those who subscribe to this ideal are welcome to, just don’t start using it as an excuse for your own screw ups…

Soul Mate

In my opinion this is a question that is only answerable if you have a certain belief system, and even then your opinion will be skewed depending on what you believe.

It is nice to think that in the billions of people that are in the world, there is one, just one person who is right for you, and that you are somehow pre destined to be with that one person for the rest of your life. Maybe I’m generalising here, but people that believe this usually believe in some kind of religious ideal, they need someone to look up to, to tell them what to do, and to believe that things happen because of this ‘god’. As Hollywood esque as the ideal of a soul mate is, in reality i doubt this is the case. Granted there are people that are more suited to each other, they have the same beliefs, the same interests and the same mannerisms. These are the people that know what the other is thinking before anything verbal is spoken, they know how they will react, they know each other inside out, i believe that this is as close as the soul mate ideal gets.

I am constantly amazed at the fact that 1 person can have such an effect on another’s emotions without realising it, I’ve seen it time and time again, and been burnt by it before (metaphorically of course…(no actual skin was harmed in the making of this blog))

I will leave you with a thought I had earlier

If absence makes the heart grow fonder, then how does time heal?

With the first deadline out of the way the outlook continues to look bleak. As soon as one load of work has been dispatched to the relevant people, focus shifts to the next load that has to be dealt with, the relentless criteria and revisions that await is laborious, but unfortunately it’s a necessary evil, the means to an end, the end being a grade AA and solid place at Kingston Uni, where hopes for happiness reside.

As predicted stress levels reached all time highs during the workathon, objects were thrown across rooms and words were censored. Tempers were frayed and all of the things that cluttered my mind previously were temporarily forced to the back of my mind, more out of necessity than out of want.

*note to self: sleep deprivation and last minute pre deadline work do not go well together

Recently I’ve become a vault for sensitive information, and an oracle of advice, most of the advice that I seem to be giving concerns situations that I have been in myself, although for some reason I never actually took this advice onboard, nor did I think it made any sense at the time. It is easier to tell someone what to do than to do it yourself, looking back on things though I wish I had taken my own advice, and the advice of the people around me.

Sometimes looking at something from a low level masks your ability to see the greater meaning. There is a point where there’s a sacrifice to be made between detail and the ability to see things in the ‘bigger picture’. Sometimes it pays to take a step back and look at things objectively because some decisions have consequences far beyond the immediate superficial things.

I have seen many plans fail because there are too many dependencies on other people, too many things that could go wrong and too many potential outcomes, I do it myself sometimes, I rely on things happening a certain way, I build up the whole plan round a scenario that, if it doesn’t happen, means that the rest of the plan is next to useless. The best plans never rely on things outside the person’s control, every effort is put into manipulating the situation in order to make sure things happen their way, and nothing is left to chance. People are surprising easy to manipulate, this is one of the things I have learned through my many hours of idle watching, if you know someone well, chances are you will be able to get them to do what you want most of the time, this is either by some form of bribery, or just pushing the right buttons, even if you don’t know someone that well the use of a well placed and timed pause in a conversation can be enough to tip the balance in your favour.

“You’re going to have to make a choice, and you don’t know you’ve made the right one until the whole scenario plays itself out”

In order to create the perfect plan, you need to be able to perfect the art of persuasion, do whatever you can yourself, but the things you need to delegate, do it in such a way that they think that anything less than success is letting you down. If they respect you then they will do their very best to succeed.

Maybe I have been thinking about this far too much…

Another thing that I have been thinking about recently is cold calling. Cold calling is what salesmen have been doing for years, although there is a variant of it that people other than salesmen, the second episode of Hustle explained it quite well, basically it’s the art of going up to someone you don’t know, and starting up a conversation with them based on the visual clues that they have with them, the aim here is to make them believe that you know them, the tiniest detail has to be analysed, the example they used in hustle was a guy sitting at a bar who had a mark on his belt where it used to be done up, indicating that he had lost weight, by taking these little details in not only are there things to talk about in a conversation, but it also creates a level of trust that is completely unfounded, thus providing you with a solid foundation to do with as you wish.

I’ve been wanting to try this out for a long time, if for nothing else other than experience…